


Stories From The Ground

by FiresofAnarchy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Burdens of leadership, Character Death, Complicated Relationships, Contemplation, Domestic, Giving In To Pain and Anger, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Regret, Self Loathing, Sick Character, Suicide, accepting death, dark path, feeling lost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 05:45:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9643139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiresofAnarchy/pseuds/FiresofAnarchy
Summary: A collection of one shots featuring various characters from The 100.





	1. Together

**Author's Note:**

> The first three chapters have been on Fanfiction.net for a while. This first chapter was sort of my initial Bellarke response after finishing season 3. I was listening to Ordinary World by Green Day while writing this.

As he watched his sister bury her sword into Pike and then turn around to leave him to die Bellamy finally got it. He supposed that he should have gotten it up on the Ark when his mother and Octavia paid the price for his mistakes despite his best efforts to protect them both. The world had only kept hitting him over the head with it every step of the way on their journey on the ground, but he had fought it every step of the way too. Now though, as he watched a man who had once taught children classes on survival techniques they would probably never use fall to the floor dead almost instantly from his sister's own hand, he finally got it. This world wasn't going to let him do it alone. He glanced over at Clarke, caught her eye, and knew that he wasn't. She pointed him towards the balcony and he followed without a second thought.

Leaning against the balcony overlooking what was left of Polis Bellamy was struck by how much had changed since the first time he had been there and he guessed that Arkadia wasn't fairing much better if the quick look he had gotten the last time they were there was anything to go by. This was what the historians in the books he read as a child always talked about when they discussed war. The parties involved always marched off to battle only thinking about the glory of it all and thinking that it would be over in only a short period of time. They soon found that war was not the easy, simple, concept that they had thought it would be and were often forced into doing far worse things for far longer than they had ever hoped. That's what they had done at Mount Weather and that's what they had done this time regardless of who was perceived as "good" or "bad" in either situation.

"It's not over," Clarke said from where she leaned next to him.

"It's never over," he confirmed.

"ALIE said that the abandoned nuclear power plants out there are releasing enough radiation to kill the Earth in six months," she dropped the information on him. "I know that it could have just been a bluff to tempt me into letting her and the City of Light survive, and I was tempted, but we still have to make sure."

"We'll figure it out together," he said. "We always do."

"Together," she said moving her hand to cover his.

Together, they had said it a few times since that first time in Mount Weather, but he was just now starting to realize what it actually meant. Separately they could get by alright, survive and make it through the day to day problems, but never as good as they could when they went after a problem together. Without her around he had almost brought both their people and the Grounders to the brink of mutually assured destruction and given an AI bent on destroying the world a cover to operate under without much oversight. Pike may have been the last casualty in a war that he had started, but it had been a war that Bellamy had allowed to happen and he was going to have to live with every casualty now too.

He had to live with every life they lost in those first few days and weeks on the ground, when everything could have fallen apart at any moment. He had to live with every life that he and Clarke had taken in Mount Weather. He had to live with every life that they took in that field the day they attacked that Grounder army. He had to live with every person who died by his hand and every person who died under his command. He supposed that they all had to do that now. He had heard it said a lot that war was Hell and he had never really understood it. He had gotten the gist of it sure, but had never truly understood. If what he'd seen so far during his time on the ground was any indication he finally knew exactly what they were talking about. Watching people around you who you had spent day and night with for the entirety of the buildup to the whole thing start dropping like flies was a sobering experience. Watching people on the other side drop like flies every time you pulled the trigger was equally sobering, and he guessed that everyone who had ever fought a war and survived carried around the weight of it all just as he was doing, just as Clarke was doing.

"When you left I was angry," he said after a few moments of silence. "Angry at you for leaving and angry at myself for letting you leave."

"And Pike made sense at the time," he continued. "The Grounders were a good target for my anger."

"I actually thought that I was doing the right thing," he finished with a sigh.

"I thought I was doing the right thing too when I left," she said. "I thought that not having me around would help them move on from Mount Weather easier."

"Maybe that's why we need each other around," she continued. "Call out all of the bullshit."

"From here on out we do this together or not at all," she finished looking up to meet his eyes.

"I'm game if you are," he said.

"Good," she said. "Now let's get back to our people."

Bellamy had been looking for answers to all of his problems when he had turned to Pike. He assumed that that was what the people who took the chip were looking for in the City of Light too. He now realized, however, that the true answer to all of his problems had been in front of him the whole time and he had refused to see it. There wasn't some new leader who was going to all of a sudden have new solutions to everything and there wasn't some mystical City of Light that could make all of the pain from surviving go away, that wasn't how the world worked. To find the strength to get through any problem they only had to look at the people next to them for answers. He only had to look at Clarke. What they all had was still fragile and could still be torn apart at any moment, but with Clarke by his side he knew that together they could see their people through whatever struggles came next.


	2. Two of a Kind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written as a response to the animosity that I've seen and admittedly been a part of at times between the Clexa and Bellarke fandoms. Pretty much how I see it if you can forgive one for what they've done to Clarke and her people and can't forgive the other then you're just being a hypocrite. I was listening to It Ends Tonight by The All-American Rejects while writing this.

Anyone who had seen their short, antagonistic conversations in life would have thought that they were two people so different that an understanding could have never been reached. The truth was, however, that they were far more similar than either of them would have ever admitted to the faces of each other or their comrades. They both did everything they could to help their people, they both made mistakes that they wished they could take back, and they both loved Clarke. Perhaps had they met under different circumstances they may have even been friends.

Circumstances instead set them up to be rivals almost from the beginning. They were both too stubborn and set in their ways to completely accept an alliance between their peoples from the start the way that some did. They were both too controlled by their emotions to think logically 100 % of the time. Without Clarke around it was only a matter of time before one of them did something to set the other off and begin the cycle of action and reaction all over again. It was unfortunate that there weren't two Clarkes who could have stayed with them both all of the time and tempered their actions toward each other. Perhaps all of this could have been avoided then.

The war with Mount Weather was hard on them all and if faced with a similar choice Bellamy couldn't say that he wouldn't have done something similar to save his people. However, Lexa's abandoning of them at Mount Weather was still a betrayal through and through and it was impossible for him to feel anything but angry about it. Her actions had left them undermanned in the fight against Mount Weather and thus led to them taking actions that would have otherwise been unnecessary. The blood of everyone in that mountain was as much on her hands as it was on his and Clarke's and he sincerely hoped that she realized that before she died.

Of course, he was far from innocent in all of what happened. Sure it had been Pike that had inspired the masses to take the actions they did and it had been Pike's plan to wipe out the Grounder army sent to protect them, but he had done nothing to stop it. Part of it was anger at Clarke for leaving him at the time when both he and their people needed her most, Pike had just provided and outlet for that anger, but it was also the same kind of bullheaded decision to save his people that she had made at Mount Weather. Those 300 lives were as much on his hands as they were on Pike's and he had to live with that. He was sure that Clarke's pleading with her was the only thing that had prevented all out war right then and there.

Clarke was of course another source of their antagonistic nature towards each other. It was the natural course of human nature in such a case where two people loved the same person to begin competing with each other for their affections. It went back to the most basic of animalistic instincts. And of course when Clarke chose to stay behind in Polis with her instead of coming back to Arkadia with him it only exacerbated the feelings of disdain that he had held for the Grounder Commander since their first meeting.

Ultimately, did she deserve a death sentence for all that she had done? It was a question that he was both the most qualified and least qualified person to answer. There was a point in time where he would have relished in her death, but now on the other side of it with more reflection on the matter he wasn't sure what to feel. If she deserved a death sentence for all that she had done then didn't he deserve the same for what he had done. Maybe he did deserve a death sentence. He had after all done things that would have been considered war crimes if they found themselves in the world before the bombs fell. Of course that brought up the whole question of what constituted a war crime in the first place and that was a conversation that he wasn't about to get into, especially with himself.

Maybe death had been a freedom for her that he was still searching for. Freedom from leadership, not because he was afraid of it but because of what it had turned him into. He supposed that Lexa had held the same illusions about leadership that he and most people held about it before they actually became leaders. There was a certain illusion that leadership was easy and that everyone would just fall in line with everything you decided and there wouldn't be any hard decisions. The reality was much more complicated and much less romanticized. He supposed that that was why a lot of leaders resorted to intimidation, fear, or violence to get their point across to the masses and prevent dissention. That was how Pike had operated and even up until the end he hadn't seen Pike have any of the regret that he constantly felt every day.

So in the end he couldn't be happy about Lexa's death no matter how much a certain part of him still resented her for the things that she did, because there was also the part of him that resented himself for what he had done in retaliation. With her death he had lost the person in the world that was perhaps the most like himself. No matter how much he relied on and cared for Clarke she was never going to be that person. She had her own demons from her time as a leader, but hers developed from a place much different than his or Lexa's did. Her mistakes in leadership weren't as much her mistakes as they were just the results of the circumstances of the world they found themselves in, circumstances often brought on by either himself, Lexa, or both. And no matter how much someone like that still felt regret for their actions and the deaths they caused they could never understand what it meant to actively make the decisions leading to such situations and then having to make the successive decisions that got the people killed.

Looking up at the sky at nothing in particular he said, "Neither of us deserves her, but I'll do my best to protect her; you have my word."

In the end they weren't all that different and he knew that no matter where she was the understanding and respect in his words would not be lost on her.


	3. What Became of Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter as sort of an idea I had about what if Emori had died at the end of Season 3. Don't get me wrong I love Emori and her and Murphy together. I just think that there was a missed opportunity to explore what was going on between Murphy and Raven before he went off to find the City of Light. I also think that a major character death caused specifically by ALIE would have given the finale more emotional weight. I was listening to The Memory by Mayday Parade while writing this.

John Murphy sat on the outskirts of a camp that had once been his home in a time that felt a lifetime away now. The others, particularly Bellamy and Clarke, had bigger challenges on their plates right now and thus paid him no mind. He couldn't find it in himself to care much about whatever it was that they were planning to do about the nuclear power plants. He would inevitably be dragged into tagging along anyways, but for now he was content to wallow in his own pain for as long as he could.

"Well now, don't you look like shit," he heard a familiar voice say from somewhere next to where he sat.

"Like you look any better Reyes," he replied.

"Don't forget that you had a lot to do with that, anyways this is about you," she said. "How are you holding up?"

"Not good," he found that he had no reason to lie.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," she said as she maneuvered herself to sit next to him. He knew that she did, knew all too well.

It figured that Raven would be the first one to offer a sense of understanding and comfort to him. Despite their rocky past they had always had a strange sort of connection and like she said she knew what he was going through better than almost anyone.

"If Clarke had just shut down ALIE a minute faster she'd still be here," he breathed out.

"I know," she said.

"And Pike's not even around for me to take my frustration out on," he said. "So I'm just kind of stuck."

His mind turned itself back to that day in the throne room in Polis when Pike turned around, probably saw him struggling with one of ALIE's chipped soldiers, and proceeded to shoot Emori in the head. At first he couldn't believe what had just transpired, but as he looked down at the now lifeless body of the woman he had loved the reality of it all hit him like a ton of bricks. The person that had helped him escape from Jaha and ALIE's crazy business the first time and had shown him a side of himself that he had left buried for longer than he could remember was gone and wasn't ever coming back.

"What was she like," Raven said cutting off his train of thought.

"We had some good times together, her and I," he said.

"We had this scam that we'd play where I'd lay out in the middle of a path and act dead until some unlucky sucker came along and investigated," he continued. "She'd jump out of the forest and catch them by surprise."

"Before they even knew what hit them we'd have already robbed them blind," he finished. "It was fun while it lasted."

"Everyone has their own definition of fun I suppose," she said absently.

"When it was all over and we'd be back at whatever shithole we were living in that night we'd spread out the spoils and she'd walk me through what could fetch a good price at one of the independent traders," he said.

"You guys probably left a lot of good tech behind out there," she said.

"Probably," he replied.

"The scavenger and mechanic in me are hurting right now," she said showing mock offense.

"It sounds like you two really had a connection," Raven said after a short pause.

"We really did," he said. "I miss her."

The truth was that Emori hadn't been perfect by any stretch of the imagination, people like them who openly conned people out of their possessions through lies and manipulation had always worked in a morally grey area. However, he wasn't sure if it was possible for someone to survive in this world without delving into activities that would be considered morally grey. Bellamy, Clarke, Lexa, Ontari, and pretty much every other leader and follower alike he had seen had delved into some aspect of the moral greyness that permeated the survival situation that they had all found themselves in. She wasn't any better or worse than anyone else down on the ground, but she had seen him that way too and that was something that very few people had given him in the grand hypocrisy of it all.

"It's okay to be angry you know," Raven said breaking him out of his thoughts again. "I was after Finn, after you shot me, for a long time."

"Yeah, sorry about that," the words needed to be said though they would never be enough.

"Feeling that way doesn't make you any different to anyone else around here, so don't let them tell you any differently; hell the only reason Jasper snapped out of it is because everyone else was already chipped and fight or flight kicked in," Raven said seemingly ignoring his words. "But you can't let it eat you alive."

"I almost did," she continued. "And it almost wound up getting me executed for a crime I didn't commit."

"Yeah, I hate when that happens," he said with a hint of a smirk.

"For what it's worth Murphy, I'm glad you're back," she said getting up. "This place wasn't the same without you around."

"Glad to be of service," he shouted as she walked away.

So maybe it wasn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows from here on out, but this world had never been that easy. Deep down, though none of them ever want to think about it, he's sure that he, Emori, and anyone else living down on the ground knows that their life could be gone in an instant. The real key to a life on the ground wasn't finding some mystical solution to circumvent it all like Jaha and the rest of his crazies were trying to do, but to enjoy the time that you did have while you had it. While a lot of what happens on the ground is clouded with moral greyness and uncertainty if he's sure of one thing it's that he and Emori did that for as long as they could and never wasted a moment. Raven was right, he couldn't let it eat him alive because a life like that wouldn't really be living at all and it wouldn't be what Emori would want for him. He wasn't sure what he had done to deserve surviving this long but he was going to make the most of it while he could because sooner or later his number was going to come up and when it did he would be ready for it.


	4. The Earth I Thought It Was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parts of this fic have been sitting around on my computer for a while. With the episode we had yesterday I finally found the inspiration to finish it. This ended up slightly darker than I had initially intended but I do think that this could have been a very possible mindset for Clarke to have taken in Season 4. I don't think she's actually this way now, but I could definitely see it if they ended up going that direction. I was listening to These Days by The Foo Fighters while writing this.

Clarke stared out at the various people around Arkadia, Jasper was leading a small group of people in another impromptu game of soccer. Thoughts of telling him how dangerous it could be and how much of a waste of medical resources it would be to treat someone with an injury sustained during such an activity came rushing through her head, but she figured she owed them at least this much considering she was lying to all of their faces. Jaha had told her to make the best decision that she could and hope for a forgiving god. That’s what she’s been having to do this whole time, and if she’s being really honest with herself she’s not sure she deserves to be forgiven. The things she’s done, the things all of them have done, aren’t exactly the kinds of things that make up a good person. Maybe Luna had the right idea when she extradited herself from everything and built a new life for herself.

She can still remember the things they used to say about the ground, if she concentrates hard enough she can even see Kane’s mother standing with that stupid tree of hers talking about the ground as some sort of promise land. The ideal of returning to the ground someday kept a lot of people from giving up when things on the Ark got particularly rough going. And if she concentrates really hard she can even see herself the way she was back then, nothing more than an idealistic girl with a spark for doing the right thing. That Clarke Griffin had a sense of naïve wonderment when she first made it to the ground, a sense of wonderment that was quickly dashed along with the artistic drive that probably produced it.

She used to draw and paint all of the time, people, places, and things all around the Ark as well as images of what she hoped the ground would be like. Earth, the point of origin for the human species, there was no way, she thought in another case of nativity, that it could be dangerous. Once she realized that they were actually being sent to Earth there was a sense of excitement at all of the new things she was going to be able to see and paint once they got settled. Now all she had was a drawing of Lexa that only served as a continuous reminder of another time she had let her guard down on this unforgiving world and paid the price for it.

Now the world had taken two people that she had loved and she was on the other side of choices that took the lives of 100s of people. An entire society had been wiped out by her hand and while she didn’t feel much remorse for most of the Mountain Men something that drastic couldn’t just be swept under the rug and forgotten about. She was sure Bellamy felt it too, maybe more than she did considering he wore his emotions on his sleeve, but ultimately the decision had been hers and she had to live with that.

She could live with it as long as her people survived which was now very much in doubt. She wasn’t sure how they were going to figure this out. If Bellamy had just come back with the generator instead of even more lives to worry about they could have started a working strategy, but now they were only patching things together piecemeal in an attempt that would ultimately not be able to save everyone. She understood why he did what he did, but that didn’t make the reality any easier to deal with.

She turned her gaze to where Raven was leading a group of people in reinforcing Alpha Station. She and Raven still weren’t on speaking terms and she wasn’t sure when they were going to work it out. She understood why Raven was angry, she was angry at herself, but lying to them to make them work was what was best for now. If at some point it became prudent for them all to know the entire scope of their situation then she wouldn’t hesitate to break the news and face their ridicule. Hopefully they would find something that worked and there wouldn’t be so much animosity anymore, she and Raven had actually been working well together and she was missing it.

Her gaze shifted further to see Bellamy standing next to a little girl, one of the people he saved from Farm Station, pointing to several different locations around Arkadia. It made her think about Charlotte, another person she couldn’t save. It only further brought forth in her mind the fact that she may not be able to save everyone, that she might have to make the call of who lives and who dies. It would be just like the Culling. She wasn’t going to let it happen if she could help it, but the possibility still existed. The possibility that she would become the thing that she had once hated was all too possible in the face of the odds they were currently up against.

This world that they found themselves in, far from being the saving grace or wonderland that they had pictured on the Ark, was slowly but surely turning them all into monsters. Turning her gaze back to Jasper, who now was smoking something that looked eerily similar to a joint, she couldn’t help but think that maybe he had the right idea. What was the point in surviving if they completely forgot how to live over the course of their survival? If they became the worst versions of themselves in the process did they really deserve to live.

She would be happy to give up her life and face whatever consequence may or may not await her on the other side if it meant that her people would live to see another day. Some of the people in Arkadia were innocent, hadn’t soaked their hands in blood as she had, and they didn’t deserve to die. If a solution presented itself where someone would have to sacrifice themselves she would gladly make that sacrifice. Bellamy, her mother, and some others would undoubtedly say she was too important to sacrifice herself in that way, but if it called for it she was ready to do it.

She wasn’t irreplaceable, someone else would undoubtedly rise up to take over leadership. They were in good hands with Bellamy and if someone else happened to take control she hoped that the lesson of Pike would caution them. If she was being honest with herself, all of the decisions she had had to make had made her tired. She was tired of the life and death situations that this world constantly presented them with and she was tired of having to constantly make decisions that got people killed. Would they still trust her to lead them if they knew that she was hanging on by a thread?

This world had taken so much from her in such a short period of time. This world that she had once dreamed of as a paradise where all of the problems of the Ark could just melt away had instead only exacerbated existing problems and added new ones. This world had taken two of the people she had loved most in her life from her along with the lives of multitudes of others. She was a product of this world plain and simple and maybe she didn’t deserve to see what came next anyways. She was tired, tired of constantly having to fight, and she wasn’t going to let this world take another person she cared about away from her until it decided to take her instead.


	5. Angel of Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of Octavia being seduced to the "dark side" so to speak is such an enticing thought to me and I just had to write something like this. Also I can't be the only one that at least wants to see an Octavia and Echo bromance. I already have some ideas for more in this universe so we'll see what happens. I also may be inspired to write some more Murphy/Raven since they somewhat interacted in the last episode, but I guess we'll see. I was listening to Mama, I'm Coming Home by Ozzy Osbourne while writing this. I hope you like it.

The Octavia Blake that had landed on Earth was nothing more than a naïve little girl with no understanding of the world. She had spent her entire life locked up in one prison or another and was just happy to be free. She was filled with childish notions about what her life could be like now that she was free. In Lincoln she thought she had found her knight in shining armor. The world she found herself in instead took him away from her along with all of those childish notions. Now she was a finely tuned weapon ready to dish out death to anyone who got in her way at a moment’s notice.

Rafel had been easy. He was nothing more than a political bully playing around with forces beyond his control. His challenge of King Roan didn’t necessary carry a 100 % chance of success, anything was possible, but it was more likely than not that Rafel would have prevailed and Arkadia would have lost its ally on the throne. His death was more spur of the moment than anything else, but it was quick and clean all the same. No one, outside of a select few, ever suspected anything other than a sudden heart attack.

Indra’s daughter and the Flame that she had taken was her next target, though she hadn’t known about the relation to her mentor at the time of her acceptance of the task. If Indra hadn’t been there she would have simply killed her, the girl put up a good fight but she was no match in the end, but it hadn’t turned out that way. The plan that they worked out was enough to fool the idiots looking to destroy the thing at least and even Roan now believed that the Flame had been destroyed. It had been all well and good until Echo cornered her one day.

“My, My, My,” the cunning woman said. “What is the King’s newest pet up to now?”

“You practically bend over backwards to kiss his boots,” she retorted. “If anyone’s his pet it’s you.”

“I’m simply biding my time,” she said ominously. “You on the other hand are treading on thin ice.”

“What do you mean,” she asked confused.

“How long do you think it’s going to take him before he figures out you lied to him about the Flame,” the other woman said with a smirk.

“How did you find out about that,” she asked.

“I’m a spy remember,” Echo said feigning offence. “It’s my job to have eyes and ears everywhere.”

“What do you want,” Octavia said cutting to the chase.

“It’s not about what I want, it’s about what’ll keep you alive the longest,” Echo said conspiratorially. “Clarke and your brother won’t be able to save you when he finds out.”

“I can take care of myself,” she said defiantly.

“I don’t doubt that, but you’re not invincible,” Echo said. “It’s better to take him out now before he starts sending hit squads after you, a preemptive strike if you will.”

“And who will sit on the throne then,” Octavia questioned.

“Me of course,” Echo said. “I don’t have a personal grudge against you and no matter my personal feelings towards your people beforehand they are our only hope against the oncoming radiation.”

“Just think about it,” she continued walking by and patting her on the shoulder.

The more Octavia did think about it the more she could see Echo’s logic. After finding out about what they did to the Flame there was no guarantee Roan would continue to hold up his end of the arrangement with Arkadia anyways. Echo at least didn’t have a personal vendetta against her, she already knew about the Flame and hadn’t attempted to kill her. Killing Roan continued to look more and more like a viable option and by the time she plunged her blade into his neck and finished what the bullet started there was no doubt in her mind that she was doing the right thing. Several weeks later as she stood before Echo she wasn’t dead and she counted that as a win.

“Kane and Indra weren’t happy with your actions so I hear,” Echo said.

“They don’t see the situation like we did,” Octavia responded.

“I’m glad we at least were able to see eye to eye,” Echo said. “I have something else for you if you’re up to it.”

“Of course,” she responded. “What is it?”

“Dissidents,” Echo said. “Just a small group in a distant village now, but they could become a threat to what we’ve built here.”

“I’ll take care of them,” Octavia said.

They were easy kills, nothing more than poorly trained farmers looking to stir up some coals. Echo was content with the outcome and Octavia was happy to finally feel useful. She was seeing less and less of Kane and Indra as time went on and suspected that they markedly disapproved of her chosen use for her skills. Echo’s position was still shaky, however, and if they couldn’t see that what she was doing was what was best for all of them then it was their loss. It wasn’t long before the killing and the stealth needed to carry it out became something second nature to her.

When one day she woke up in bed next to Echo it felt like nothing more than an inevitability. It was the natural progression for two individuals such as themselves, born to serve in the shadows, who were now thrust into the spotlight, to find solace in each other. She noticed the disapproving looks that Kane sent her whenever they bumped into each other, but she was beyond caring about what someone like him thought. Indra had just disappeared one day with her daughter and while she felt a particular pull in her gut at having lost her mentor’s guidance it didn’t feel as soul-crushing as she had once thought it might be. She was something better than what Indra could ever have hoped to make her.

“I have another job for you,” Echo said still lying on her side of the bed.

“I thought you’d never ask,” she said smiling.

“You know of the Nightblood Luna,” Echo prompted.

“Yeah,” Octavia said. “They used her blood to help stop radiation sickness caused by the storm.”

“Yes, well she has since served her purpose in that respect,” Echo said. “As a Nightblood she poses a significant threat to me and needs to be removed.”

“I’d have to go back to Arkadia,” she said.

“Is that a problem,” Echo prompted.

“No,” Octavia assured her. “Just tell me when.”

“Don’t let your brother distract you from your purpose,” Echo cautioned.

“He won’t,” Octavia said with a smile. “Now, round two before I have to go without you for a few days.”

“I like the way you think,” Echo said smiling as she pinned Octavia to the bed.

One kill can prevent thousands. It was an ideology that had guided thousands of years’ worth of assassins before her. Her skillset wasn’t unique, it had been wielded in one form or another by various other individuals throughout history who did the hard things that others were too weak to do. If that’s what this world and this particular moment in time required of her then who was she to complain. She was nothing more than a finely tuned instrument of death, an angel of death sent out to visit anyone who would dare harm those she cared about.


	6. Octavia Blake Is Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a while. I've had spurts of inspiration for different things and actually have another chapter half done, but this is the first thing I was able to complete. The last episode was awesome with Murphy and Raven back to their Murphy and Raven best, I really don't understand why they were ever separated, and Bellamy almost pouring out his soul to Clarke. However, I really don't think that Octavia choosing to spare Ilian really fits with where her character is right now so I decided to do something with that. I was listening to Remember When by Avril Lavigne while writing this and I hope you like it.

Octavia Blake was dead, had been dead since she had seen Lincoln executed by Pike for no reason other than the fact that he had the guts to stand up to the tyrant. Whatever she had become after that moment, she wasn’t Octavia Blake anymore and she had made that crystal clear to Bellamy when he tried to have a heart to heart with her. No, she wasn’t Octavia Blake anymore, she was a weapon, a weapon that hadn’t found someone worthy enough to be the one to guide her, but a weapon nonetheless.

Now, as she looked down at Ilian on his knees much like Lincoln had been, she experienced a flash of emotions accompanied by memories of that day coming back to her. She had a gun to the young man’s head and she was itching to pull the trigger, but the memories momentarily stopped her cold in her tracks. This brief moment of hesitation was apparently all Kane needed to attempt to stop her by appealing to her humanity. “You don’t want to do this” were some of the words she caught coming out of his mouth but for the most part he went unheard as the memories continued to overwhelm her.

She had been nothing more than a naïve girl looking for an adventure when they first came to Earth. Spending her entire life locked in one cage or another her entire life had left her craving the freedom that the Earth promised more than anything. Bellamy had tried to keep her restricted at first, putting people like Atom and Murphy on babysitting duty to make sure she didn’t go anywhere. They were easy to dodge though, Murphy because as much as he respected Bellamy he didn’t really care to play babysitter and Atom because he thought more with is junk than his brain.

Then she had met Lincoln and her life as well as the overall situation on the ground changed forever. There were people on the ground with them and while her brother was preparing to go to war with them and Clarke was trying to play peacemaker she had actually managed to fall in love with one of them. There were fights against Trikru and fights against the Mountain Men that followed and through it all Lincoln had remained by her side.

She should have guessed that her people would be the ones that would eventually get him killed. Pike was an idiot and crazy, but he was also a crazy idiot with a lot of power. Lincoln and the others had only been trying to stand up to his tyrannical control and show the rest of Arkadia what he really was. It hadn’t worked and Lincoln had gotten a bullet in his head for his trouble. He had been ready to die, had been at peace with it, but that didn’t make his absence in her life hurt any less.

Now Indra was gone too, the person who had seen her as a warrior before she even had really seen it herself and had agreed to make her her Second even if she drew scorn from others in Polis. Indra had crafted her into the basis for what she was today and while she may have never intended her training to be used the way she was using it all of that training was still proving useful. But instead of being around to give her further guidance her mentor was betrayed by people only looking to build up their own power, the same people that Clarke was now trusting to help them find a way to escape the oncoming storm of radiation. King Roan put on a friendly face and promised his cooperation, but he was still the same man who had sent Echo to kill her and just because he was outgunned at the moment and decided to help, it didn’t mean anything to her.

And Bellamy was another story altogether. He was trying to atone for what he perceived as being his fault, but what he perceived as being his fault and what she perceived as being his fault were two different things. He may have not pulled the trigger on the gun that killed Lincoln, but he had supported Pike and helped him slaughter an entire army of Grounders in order to secure his power. However easily Clarke forgave him for his actions, he would not have it so easy with her. He was her brother and as much as she hated to admit it that still meant something, so she would just have to stick with ignoring him.

“Octavia,” Kane’s voice filtered into her mind again. “You don’t have to do this.”

He was right, she didn’t have to. If she was feeling particularly poetic she could allow Kane to talk her into sparing Ilian’s life just so he could betray them again. Maybe it would happen during the plan to save them from the radiation or maybe it would happen in the aftermath, she didn’t much care. Someone like him wasn’t simply going to lie down and repent for everything that he had done and turn over a new leaf just because he was captured. No, he would hurt Arkadia again, maybe Polis too, whoever he deemed responsible for the deaths of his family and it wouldn’t be her problem. But he was as close to a perpetrator of both Lincoln’s death and the attempt on her own life that she was going to get and she was going to take what she could get.

“Octavia’s dead,” she repeated her earlier words to Bellamy and pulled the trigger.

Ilian’s lifeless body slumped to the ground in front of her and she heard more than a few cheers from several Arkadia residents at his execution. Without much preamble, she began walking out of Arkadia and not looking back. She was happy that the people in Arkadia could at least have a little peace now that the perpetrator of the attack on them was dead, but she couldn’t stay. Her people were allying themselves with someone who had attempted to have her killed and had been prepared to launch both sides into full scale war only days earlier. She didn’t know how Clarke did it, compartmentalized things like that, it was a diplomatic and political skill that even Bellamy hadn’t mastered. She assumed it was a uniquely Clarke thing and was probably one of the reasons Clarke was a leader and she was a weapon.

In the past she may have stuck around due to loyalty to one thing or another. There was loyalty to her people, loyalty to her brother, and loyalty to not letting the world burn a second time that had kept her around this long. She couldn’t do it anymore though. Friends were becoming enemies and enemies were becoming friends and she couldn’t find it in herself to stick around just to lose more people. Loyalty to all of those things was what had led Octavia Blake to stick around through questionable decisions from Clarke and her brother. Octavia Blake was dead now though and the husk that was left behind couldn’t find it in herself to care what levels of stupidity Arkadia and Polis stooped to in order to get themselves killed next. She was a weapon and better people than those she was leaving behind deserved to be the ones to wield her.


	7. Partners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I began writing this after 4x06 because Octavia and Niylah's dynamic in that episode as well as 4x05 really reminded me of detectives trying to solve crimes with Niylah being the analytical one and Octavia being the emotional one. I really haven't liked the direction of the show recently with almost any storyline, like it's been one dumb writing decision after another, and I really hope they get it together on the other side of this break. Anyways, I may end up writing more in this universe because I got a whole world built in my head thinking about it but we'll see. I was listening to She Don't Want Nobody Near by Counting Crows while writing this.

“So, what do you think,” Octavia said from where she was leaning against the wall. “It’s bullshit right.”

“She’s probably a perfectly nice person,” Raven said from where she had buried herself inside the guts of some piece of machinery that Octavia could never hope to guess the purpose of.

“I don’t need nice,” Octavia said dejectedly. “I don’t need a partner at all, I got by fine without one before.”

“You were shot,” Raven pointed out. “You could have died.”

“I didn’t though,” Octavia said. “And just because I got into one bad dustup doesn’t mean I need to be babysat all the time now, I already get enough of that from Bellamy.”

“I think a partner will do you good,” Raven said. “Just look at how well Luna and Murphy mellowed each other out.”

“Just because you want to fuck them both doesn’t make them the epitome of good partnership,” Octavia said. “But fine, I see your point.”

“Good,” Raven said. “Now can you hand me the blowtorch.”

It was several days later, after the waning moments of her paid leave to give her time for recovery ran out that she found herself wandering into the police station for the first time in months. She had enjoyed the time off, at least when she wasn’t experiencing a bout of intense pain, but she had missed the hustle and bustle that the police station always had in one way or another. She took a few moments of peace to just breath before the inevitable firestorm of having a new partner would undoubtedly throw her life into chaos once more.

It had been a routine case investigating the murder of some well to do businessman at his home with seemingly no witnesses. The evidence led them to a warehouse that turned out to be a front for a drug smuggling operation. She hadn’t even been the only one there, the department had seen fit to send a bunch of uniforms to the site as well. The occupants of said warehouse had been better armed than they had anticipated and she had ended up taking a round in the side where her vest didn’t protect her. It had hurt like a bitch sure, put her out of action for five months, but she had been mostly fine and they had gotten a bigger bust than they originally had planned. She wasn’t incompetent and she didn’t need a new partner.

“Blake,” the unmistakable voice of Captain Marcus Kane tore her out of her reverie. “A moment in my office.”

She trudged her way towards the other side of the station, past all of the stares of colleagues wondering what the department’s “loose cannon” had done already to warrant a trip to the Captain’s office or sizing her up to see if she was really all back together after the shooting. She rolled her eyes at all of them. She didn’t have anything to prove to any of them. As she neared the door to the office of the man who was the closest thing to a father that she had ever had she could only hope that he had finally realized his mistake and was about to tell her she didn’t have to have a new partner.

As she entered the office and closed the door, leaning against the wall, she said, “Anything I can do for you Cap.”

“Just wanted to make sure you’re settling back in okay,” he said. “Have you checked in with Niylah yet?”

“No,” she said. “Having a partner isn’t necessary for me Kane, I work fine on my own and the last thing I need is someone looking over my shoulder and constantly questioning my decisions.”

“Yes you’ve made your opinion on that quite clear,” he said rolling his eyes. “And what did I tell you last time?”

“That immediately jumping back into things full force wouldn’t necessarily be a good idea,” she repeated. “That having someone there to watch my back might help me adjust to being back sooner.”

“You should heed that advice,” he said. “You got shot, it’s okay if you’re not completely okay right now.”

“I’m fine,” she said defensively. “And I don’t need a babysitter.”

“No we both know how well you do with those,” he said briefly smiling. “It’s good that Niylah isn’t a babysitter then.”

She huffed at that, he wasn’t going to let her talk him out of this. It was like when she was growing up and she had asked him on a consistent basis if she could get a tattoo. He had eventually relented on that front, but she wasn’t going to stand around his office waiting ten years for him to change his mind on the subject.

“Just give her a chance,” he said moving to place a hand on her shoulder. “She’s one of the brightest minds at this station, you may even learn a thing or two.”

“Fine,” she huffed. “But if it goes bad just know that I’m going to complain a lot the next time I come over for dinner.”

“I’m sure Abby will love that,” he said eyeing her.

“Okay,” she said. “But I will come here and complain.”

“As long as no one else in the station can hear you, you can complain as much as you want,” he said moving to lean against his desk. “But I think you’ll be genuinely surprised at this new arrangement.”

“Don’t count on it,” she said before taking her leave and reentering the bustling activity of the wider police station.

She meandered her way through the mazelike crowds of people until she found her desk. It was exactly as she had left it before taking her leave with the addition of a new stack of case files and various other forms of paperwork that were undoubtedly her new work load plus some things she had left untidied prior to her absence. A picture of herself in between Bellamy and Clarke taken at their wedding was staring back at her from one corner and she found herself smiling. Whichever way it shook out with this new partner at least she would have people around her who would always care about her no matter what.

A knocking sound on her desk drew her attention away from its surface and towards the face of a blonde-haired woman that she recognized as belonging to her new partner.

“Detective Cameron,” she said reaching out her hand reluctantly for the other woman to shake. “I was wondering when you’d finally show up.”

“I was going over our pressing cases while you were meeting with the Captain,” the other woman said taking her hand and shaking it briefly. “I suggest we start with this.”

She was pointing at the file for a double homicide of a woman and her daughter.

“Why this one,” she said pulling the file from the stack.

“Evidence collected already points to the mother’s jilted lover,” the other woman said pointing at some of the filed reports within the file. “Only thing on the itinerary at the moment is to bring him in, I thought it’d be something simple to get a sense of how we work together.”

“Oh okay,” she said surprised at how much thought she’d put into this, her own style usually revolved around picking the top file off of the stack and going with that unless something really pressing popped up. “I guess we can do that, you drive.”

She still wasn’t sure about this whole partner thing, but having someone else read through all of the paperwork and taking responsibility for organizing a plan of action was a welcome change. At least now, if something went wrong time constraints-wise on a particular case she could put the blame on Niylah. Somehow she suspected that that wouldn’t end up being much of a possibility, Niylah seemed too hyperfocused on every action she took to let something like that trip her up.


	8. Two People Such As Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it took a few episodes of stupid and a break but the 100 finally got back to form last night. That episode was one big ball of emotional awesomeness and I loved every minute of it. The Raven/Murphy scene just left me thinking about what could have been between them again and so this chapter was born. I was listening to the piano version of This Is Gospel by Panic at the Disco while writing this which I think describes them really well. I hope this isn't too all over the place and I hope you like it.

John Murphy stepped away from the determined, frustratingly beautiful woman who was about to take herself back into space. Emori and the others led him away, but he kept his eyes trained on her for as long as he could, if this really was the last time he was going to see her he was going to make it count. She was focused on the task at hand and if he didn’t know any better he would say that she was unaffected by what had just transpired between them. In the end though, he supposed that what had happened hadn’t been about her anyways.

She was at peace with what was happening to her or at least as at peace as someone as stubborn as Raven Reyes could ever possibly be with the fact that her body was failing her. When you boiled it down though, at the end of the day Raven Reyes was an engineer, a builder who couldn’t leave a project half-finished and he was her largest project of all. She had taken him in broken and on the verge of total collapse and built him back up into what he currently was as if he were just another engine or radio for her to fix.

He had come to her feeling like nothing that day in the dropship, utterly defeated and welcoming of the death that was about to come to both of them. She had saved him from that darkness, brought him back to a state where leaving with Jaha seemed like a better idea than just offing himself and being done with it, after he made sure that she was okay, or at least okay as she was going to be. And now perhaps when there wasn’t any chance for the future, now that she was dying without him despite the pact they had made together that day, she had seen fit to absolve him of everything he had ever done in a way that only she could. He would be lying to himself if he said that he had been aware of just how much her absolution would mean, a weight on his shoulders he hadn’t even known he was carrying was instantly gone.

She had saved him from himself a second time, but now the thing that made her so incredible, her mind, was failing her. Raven Reyes was dying. The person who had spent a lifetime looking impossible situations in the eye, saying “fuck it”, and somehow still managing to come out on the other side covered in dirt with a smile on her face that lit up everything wasn’t going to be around anymore and he didn’t know what to do with that. She had told him to survive and he would try his damndest to pay off her dedication to his wellbeing by doing so, but he couldn’t help but think about what would happen the next time he became his own worst enemy and couldn’t pull himself out of it.

What he and Emori had was special, but she was too much like him to ever be able to do what Raven had done. The second their relationship wasn’t mutually beneficial he had no doubts that Emori would drop him and go back to the solitary existence that she had enjoyed prior to becoming wrapped up in the whole situation with ALIE. Raven cared though, cared even after he hurt her in ways that he hurt no one else. He had never had someone care about him like that before and he couldn’t see a way that someone else would come along in the near future to take up that mantle. No, for whatever reason she did it, Raven cared about him in a way that no one else ever would again.

Two people such as them were never destined for the fairytale ending, something that simple was too boring for two people with the history that they had together. Whatever they had and whatever could have been between them had things turned out differently was always destined for something far more chaotic than that. What they had was too passionate, too emotional, too heated to end in anything other than extreme happiness or extreme pain, perhaps even both at the same time. They had never been destined for conventional, but that’s what made it all the more special.

Raven wasn’t the kind of person to just take death lying down, she was much too stubborn for that. She was determined to go out on her own terms, doing something that made her feel happy and free instead of wasting away completely at the mercy of what was killing her. She had never not had his respect, even at the times when they were at each other’s throats, but as he saw how she was dealing with everything that was being thrown at her something on a completely different level began to take shape. She was a better person than he could ever hope to be, better than most of the people he had known throughout his life, and whatever she had been getting from their interactions in return for all that she had continually given him, he couldn’t figure what it could possibly be, but he just hoped it wasn’t too inadequate.

He would continue to go about his existence, try his best to do all of her work proud and survive like he had promised, but a part of him was dying with her and it wasn’t going to be coming back. Maybe it would be easier for Emori to convince him to go along with her schemes now that he didn’t have anything tying him to Arkadia anymore. Bellamy and Clarke were doing their own thing and everyone else had never really been anything special to him in the first place. He would still use them to survive, find his way into the bunker if it was the last thing he did, but the second a better opportunity for self-preservation came up he would now be more likely to take it. As Raven had put it he was a cockroach and without her around to balance him out he had nothing better to do than give in to his cockroach nature.

Maybe two people like them were never meant to stay together in one place for too long anyways. Maybe their natures were just too prone to chaos whenever they found themselves near each other. Perhaps they were always destined to leave each other. Leave each other, like he had done when he had followed Jaha into the desert instead of sticking around to build on what they had established in the dropship or like she was doing now that they were finally picking up where they had left off. Maybe they were fated to be surrounded by hundreds of what could have beens instead of realities. Meeting Raven Reyes had certainly changed his life forever and his only hope was that in some small way meeting him had changed hers too.


	9. His Terms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't plan to write another chapter this quickly, especially not about Jasper, but this came to me as I was thinking about something for another fandom. Apparently now that my college semester is coming to an end, particularly my creative writing class, and I don't have to think about that anymore my random story idea muse is coming back. Since this does deal with Jasper, if you didn't read the tags, this revolves around suicide, so if you'd rather avoid that I understand. I was listening to November Rain by Guns n Roses while writing this.

The time had come, with everyone scrambling around trying to figure out ways to escape the oncoming radiation storm and then being distracted by having one last hurrah with the DNR group Jasper had forgotten that he actually had a plan for when zero hour drew near. As much as he would have liked to party right up until the last minute he had planned another way to go out when he had first heard about the radiation and it was of the utmost importance that he got on it before it was actually too late. He figured that the others had things they wanted to do in their last moments too and he wasn’t going to deprive them of that. So, with another series of goodbyes and reassurances to the few that remained he set out for one final journey across the Earth.

It took him several hours of walking but eventually he arrived at his destination, Mount Weather, or at least whatever remained of it. Clarke’s release of radiation upon its occupants and the following attack on it by the Ice Nation saboteur had really done a number on what had been intended to be a place to ride out the very thing they all were facing now. There was a cruel irony in that that he loved and if they couldn’t get the new bunker to work and joined him in oblivion it would only be because of their own bloodlust. If they somehow survived the immediate threat he was sure that the killing would follow them into the aftermath.

He supposed that that bloodlust was what had kept some of them alive for so long, Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia, Roan, and Indra all had more blood on their hands than they probably even consciously realized. Not Maya though, Maya had only been trying to help and she had only got a slow, painful death via radiation at Clarke’s hands for her trouble. No, this world wasn’t one for the innocent or kind at heart and he was tired of seeing people like that, people like Maya suffer and die for nothing. They had been sent down to die and he was done watching other people get caught up in his death sentence. Death by radiation had been what the Council had expected from them when they initially sent them down so it was all coming perfectly full circle for him.

He took out the painting, the one that Maya had said was her favorite, and sat it down on the ground in front of him. It was the only part of her he had left and if he was going to go out he was going to go out thinking about her. He laid down on the ground and proceeded to look it over. He wasn’t sure exactly what the artist had been trying to say when they had painted it so long ago, but he felt a sense of understanding with the lone figure looking out at the swirling mass of bodies. They had come down 100 strong and that number had begun dropping almost immediately. There were only a handful of them left now and when the radiation did inevitably come the loss of the DNR group would make that number ever smaller.

He had survived death many times himself since they had first arrived on Earth, survived a spear through the chest only because the Grounders thought he would make a better message alive rather than as a corpse. The Mountain Men had taken him and planned to use him along with the others as part of their blood draining experiments, but Maya had kept him safe and in the end Clarke put an end to their plans once and for all, however brutally. ALIE had taken over his mind and almost forced him to kill his best friend, but it didn’t end up coming to that in the end and he had somehow managed to survive. At least this time it was on his terms.

He and Maya could have had a good life together had things gone differently in Mount Weather. He would have gladly stayed in the bunker with her to live out the rest of his days and if one day they ever found a way for the people of Mount Weather to survive outside he would have taken her to show her all of the wonders that the Earth had to offer underneath the death and destruction. The choice had been taken away from him though and Cage and Clarke’s pissing contest to see who would blink first ended with Clarke pulling that lever and killing the only person he had ever truly loved.

Bellamy had understood and he was glad that it hadn’t come down to explosions and bullets, some would have inevitably gotten caught in the crossfire and not been able to do it on their terms and that was worse than just going on. Maybe if Bellamy didn’t have to lead the others, didn’t have Clarke, he would have even joined them. The look in his eyes after everything went down with Octavia and Pike and Lincoln was one that he recognized. Jasper didn’t have anyone like Clarke that could still pull him past it all and make him want to continue forward. Clarke had taken that person away from him and maybe if he and Monty had been on better terms in the aftermath it could have been different, but they weren’t and it wasn’t.

He had come down to Earth a scrawny kid with goggles on his head and getting high on his mind. He had taken a spear to the chest and lived to tell about it, even managed to laugh it off. But like all of them he had been ground down and instead of letting it turn him into a killer, getting blood on his hands he was just done with it all. Maya had been a brief flash of happiness in his life that ended too quickly and he was never going to get that feeling back so it was pointless to search for something that would never measure up. He wasn’t that same kid anymore, he had died away a long time ago, but even this harder version of him that remained was done pointlessly fighting.

Thunder in the distance signaled the approach of rain and a gut instinct inside of him told him that this would be black rain, the final black rain before the real storm. He took one final look at the painting, laid his head back, closed his eyes, and brought a picture of her to his mind. As he began to feel the rain fall and burn his skin her beauty kept him grounded and he didn’t scream out, didn’t flinch in pain, just remained focused and ready for more. As more and more drops began falling on him he began to feel all of his burdens wash away with it. Images of dancing with her in Mount Weather’s main hall as their friends gathered to celebrate the first Sky People-Mountain Men wedding and other visions of a future that would never happen meandered through his consciousness as the rain washed away all of the pain from what actually did. At long last Jasper Jordan was finally free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a different note, in regards to the last chapter, I think I've become completely obsessed with Raven/Murphy after 4x09. I already have another idea with them circling in my head, so there will probably be more of them in the future.


	10. Clanless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how this turned out. I know a lot of people especially in the Bellarke fandom don't like Echo, but personally I think she's awesome. She's such an interesting character and I'd rather have her around than Emori, but maybe that's just me. She's also one of the most attractive people on the show in my opinion, but that's beside the point. Anyways here's an Echo chapter if any of you were looking for one. I was listening to Jaded by Aerosmith while writing this which is my favorite song of all time. I hope you like this.

She had been born to serve Azgeda, the next in a long line of spies and military leaders that went back ten generations through her father. Even her name, Echo, was carefully chosen to best serve her ultimate purpose by the powers that be before she was old enough to talk. She was supposed to be an echo, there one minute and gone the next without drawing attention, accomplishing whatever mission set out before her without fail or complaint. And so she served her purpose dutifully to her queen without hesitation in the early years of her life rising slowly to become one of her most trusted advisors. Her son had proven more difficult to deal with from the start.

She had butted heads with Roan when he had still been but a prince and while he had tried to get her dismissed from her position of influence among his mother’s advisors on more than one occasion his attempts had never proven successful. They weren’t friends and never would be, so she hadn’t expected the same closeness with him that she had enjoyed with his mother, but she had expected him to at least take her advice into consideration before diving into actions headfirst. An alliance with Skaikru and his becoming the de facto Commander hadn’t been actions she supported, but she had tried to put an indifferent face on it in the hopes that she could influence him by proximity.

She had thought that all was back on track when she defeated the Skaikru warrior Octavia and Roan mustered Azgeda’s forces for a war, but somehow Octavia had managed to survive a fall from a cliff’s edge and all of her plans had started to spiral out of control from that one failure. Roan renewed the alliance, the war was off, and she was once again pushed to the background as he and Clarke created plans to save them all from the coming radiation released in ALIE’s own last grasp for power. The Conclave had been her chance to show the new king that she put Azgeda above everything, even her own life, and secure a future for the people she had devoted her life to protecting. It had been another unfortunate miscalculation.

“You are Azgeda no more,” so few words were used to casually throw away all of her years of service to her people just so that Roan could stand on the broken tatters of tradition until the very end. In one sentence Roan had turned her from a powerful advisor with deep ties to the throne that went back generations into a clanless outcast with no one to turn to at the end of the world. She had felt like breaking down right there, just curling up into a ball and letting the tears flow out until she had no more to give but she wouldn’t give Roan or Bellamy the satisfaction of seeing her like that, so she just closed up and stormed off. Being outplayed by Octavia yet again at the bunker had been a final failure that secured her position as a pariah and she had taken her leave as gracefully as she could still manage.

The truth was that when she stumbled upon Bellamy and the other Skaikru out in the wilderness she had simply been looking for a fight, someone or something that could challenge her and perhaps give her a good death before the radiation came. Instead, in their infinite kindness, the Skaikru had allowed her to tag along. Bellamy and Clarke had even stood up for her in the cave with Murphy and the suits. It was more kindness than she deserved, even further compounded when they included her in their plans to go to space and survive on the Ark from which they came. She was nothing but a failure, an outcast without a clan to go back to once the five years of nuclear fire were up and without a position for someone with her skills to fill. What good was a spy or military commander when the clans were united as one and there was a world to rebuild to occupy their time. She had, in the span of weeks, became nothing.

Ritual suicide was a well-respected tradition among warriors mortally wounded on the battlefield, those racked with debilitating diseases with no hope of recovering, and those old and at the end of life who wanted to face death on their own terms and whether or not she was still part of a clan she wasn’t going to simply wait around for the radiation to get her. And if doing this one thing threw her banishment back in Roan’s face, then that was just a bonus before she saw the bastard on the other side. She had been moments away from going through with it when Bellamy stepped in again to give her more kindness than she deserved. He called her a strong person, said that they needed her up in space, even managed to get her to smile for the first time in ages. He really was something else, she could see why it had been easy for Clarke to fall in love with him.

He was in love with her too, she didn’t need to be a spy to see that, and his pain as he closed the door and left her on the ground was a pain she could relate to, after all she now knew what it was like to lose the thing you loved the most. She had been meant to be an echo, appearing in people’s lives for a split second and accomplishing her task before moving along. Now she was going to be stuck in a confined space with these people for the next five years and despite herself she already found herself caring about them. Bellamy was willingly separating himself from the two people he cared the most about and she wished he didn’t have to, if for no other reason than no one should have to make a choice like that.

She wasn’t sure that if put in a similar situation she would have been able to willingly separate herself from her clan. She supposed that that was what made Bellamy a better person than her, what made them all better people than her. She had lied and deceived her way through countless objectives killing countless people from all walks of life along the way and had taken a perverse pleasure in the thrill of it all. And yet here she was somehow saved from the hellfire while people like Clarke were left behind. She didn’t deserve this, wasn’t sure what she had done to do get it, but she wasn’t going to waste the opportunity. Roan had taken everything away from her when he banished her and made her clanless, but maybe she could turn it into an opportunity to do better. She wasn’t sure if she even knew how to be better, couldn’t remember a time in her life where serving the clan hadn’t been the priority, but if Bellamy could push on despite his losses then she could give it a try. Maybe it was time to finally put herself first without trying to please someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a side note just about the finale in general, it was awesome even though Bellarke are separated. I feel like next season is going to go back to the show's roots so fingers crossed. I also already love Madi and will hopefully get the inspiration to write something centered around her soon. If anybody's a sci fi fan and is looking for new shows to watch I'd recommend Dark Matter and Killjoys on Syfy both of which are starting their third seasons in June. They're a little more sci fi sci fi than The 100 is if you know what I mean but they're awesome and I have fanfic for Dark Matter so just a friendly suggestion. Anyways hopefully I can get more Bellarke and Raven/Murphy out there during this hiatus but we'll see what happens.


	11. Post Mortem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the first thing I've written for the 100 in three months, the first thing I've written at all outside of school work in one, so if it's rusty I'm sorry. I really thought that this hiatus would produce more Raven/Murphy fanfic especially since I've seen it really blowing up on twitter, but it hasn't. In all honesty I've been a Bellarke fan since season 1 and they're always going to be awesome, but I've been more into Murven than them recently. Maybe that's just me, but I had to get something out there for them because there needs to be more, so fingers crossed that they become canon and fingers crossed that we actually get to see them become canon despite the time jump. Anyways I was listening to Mona Lisa by The All-American Rejects while writing this and I hope you like it.

John Murphy stared out of the large window that overlooked a burning Earth, the Earth that he had been sent down to die on, but instead had unlocked a version of himself that he had long forgotten existed. It was easy from his current vantage point to get lost in the absurdity of it all. They had all been sent down to die and yet somehow the Earth that they found had actually turned out to be survivable yet still more dangerous than they could have ever realized. Through it all from free reign to false accusations to exile to betrayal to a hard earned if a little guarded trust he had fought tooth and nail to get where he was. And now a small group of them were back in space, back on what remained of the Ark where his entire fuckup of a life had started. It had all come full circle for him in such a short period of time that he had no idea what to expect from five years in space with only six other people to keep him company. He glanced down at a bottle on the window’s ledge, grabbed it and turned it over, and sighed in disappointment when it turned out empty.

“Really Murphy,” a voice he’d recognize anywhere said from over his shoulder. “We haven’t been here a week and you’re already trying to get drunk.”

“You know me Reyes,” he called back to her without actually turning around. “Always a slacker.”

“There’s no room for slacking up here,” she said a hint of amusement leaving her voice. “We all have to pull our weight.”

“Yes of course taskmaster Reyes,” he said turning around and giving her a mock salute. “Anything you want.”

“I know you’ll do your part,” she said trying to reassure him.

At his skeptical look she added, “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Apology accepted Reyes,” he said taking a moment to lean against the wall on one side of the window arms crossed.

“Look, you’ve seen how Bellamy is,” she said taking up a similar position on the other side.

“Yes,” he confirmed.

Bellamy was breaking, they all could see it. He kept trying to reassure them that he had it together, that Clarke’s death wasn’t affecting him, that he was still the same leader he had been on the ground, but they all knew it was a lie. He wasn’t sleeping, instead spending his alone time staring out the very window they were standing at now. And when he was awake and not staring into oblivion he was throwing himself into his work, volunteering first for any dangerous jobs and only stopping for lunch or dinner when one of them, mostly Raven, called him out on it and forced him to stop. Raven, already having a lot of responsibility considering her engineering abilities, was picking up the slack where she could, but he could see it weighing on her as well. A slight pang of guilt at having snapped at her ran through his body, but only a slight pang.

“Then you understand why it’s important that the rest of us don’t slack off,” she said bringing her head back against the wall and closing her eyes. “This place is barely off the ground as it is.”

“Reyes,” he said. “Whatever you need I’m there for you.”

“Good,” she said smiling slightly. “Because I need you, all of you, to do this for me while I try to get through to him.”

“He’ll come around,” he said.

“How are you so sure,” she asked. “He seems pretty bad to me.”

“Because at the end of the day he’s doing this for her,” he said. “And if there’s one thing that Bellamy Blake will never do it’s fail Clarke Griffin.”

“I hope you’re right,” she said.

“When have I ever been wrong,” he said.

The “Are you serious?” look on her face was enough to get him laughing.

“I’m glad you find me amusing Murphy,” she said even though she was holding in her own grin.

“Humor is important Reyes,” he said reigning in his smile. “Especially when we’re going to be floating in this tin can for the next five years.”

“You’re right,” she said lightly facepalming. “I completely forgot about setting up activities to maintain group morale, I’m such an idiot.”

Another laugh, this one lighter, escaped from him at that, “Come on Reyes, you’re the furthest thing from an idiot we’ve got up here, down there too as a matter of fact.”

“You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met,” he added softly.

“Thank you,” she said almost at a whisper.

“But even geniuses need sleep and I’ve noticed you skipping your shifts in the bunks,” he said shifting the conversation before one of them said too much.

At her look of protest he said, “Come on Reyes what could go wrong with me in charge for a few hours?”

That same look from earlier returned and he said, “I promise I won’t blow up the station.”

“That doesn’t instill me with confidence,” she said. “But I guess at that point I won’t even be alive long enough to be mad at you.”

“Reyes,” he said. “Just get some sleep.”

A resigned look crossed her face as she pushed off of her side of the wall and began walking away.

“Reyes,” he said quickly.

“Yeah Murphy,” she said turning around.

“I’m glad you didn’t have to die alone,” he said.

“Me too Murphy,” she said before turning to walk away again.

He watched her go, that confident gait that she maintained even with her injured leg, the leg he took away from her. That was the real problem with spending five years in space with only six other people around. There was Bellamy who was falling apart before everyone’s eyes and while he truly believed what he told Raven that didn’t mean it wouldn’t be a long road. Monty was starting to come around to trusting him, but there wasn’t anything substantial there yet. He wasn’t sure where he stood with Harper outside of the history he had with all of the 100. Echo was a complete mystery, an outsider like him, but even more so and if he was being honest he was perfectly happy with the distance he had kept up thus far from her. There was Emori of course, no immediate problems there that he could see except for the fact that they were both opportunists and those problems that could potentially arise because of the last person. Raven, someone who he had thought was going to die so he’d bared his soul to her and she’d done the same, but didn’t end up dying.

You couldn’t take back a heart to heart moment like that just because the exceptional circumstances that brought it on didn’t pan out the way you thought they would. For better or worse Raven had forgiven him for everything he’d done to her and in doing so somewhat absolved him of all the bad choices in his life. And in response he’d hugged her, a more meaningful hug than he’d ever had in his life, and tried to tell her everything that what she said to him meant. He had tried to pour everything he wished that they had time to say to each other into that hug, things he hadn’t even known had the potential of being said until that moment. And now she wasn’t dead and she was asking for his help, she was trusting him above everyone else, and he wasn’t sure what to do with that. A lot could happen in five years and the thing that confused him the most was that he wasn’t even sure which possibility scared him more.

“What have you done to me Reyes,” he said turning to face the irradiated Earth again, not finding any of the answers he was looking for in the image.


	12. Not Tired Of You Yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly not sure what this is. It started out with me wanting something where one of them was sick and the other had to take care of them, but became something else somewhere down the line. From the looks of the trailer it looks like we're going to get Murven in one form or another next season, but I'm not going to get my hopes up too much especially since it's already confirmed she's going to be with one of the Eligius people. Either way I can guarantee that life for them in space isn't going to be as easy and domestic as depicted here but this is my fic so I can do whatever I want. Regardless, despite the Murven tag on Twitter and other such things being pretty active there's a decided lack of fic for them still. As someone who has shipped them since the dropship scene in season 2 here I am to fill the void. I was listening to Damage by Jimmy Eat World while writing this. I hope you like whatever this is.

Murphy’s not sure what he expected to find waiting for him on the other side of the door to their shared room when he initially keyed the code to unlock it, but Raven sitting against the headboard of their bed with a wrench between her teeth and some piece of machinery in front of her was decidedly not at the top of the list. Granted he hasn’t had that many people throughout his life that mattered enough for him to care about when they got sick, so he’s probably not the most experienced at taking care of said sick people, but he’s pretty sure there’s a lot more bedrest usually involved. She is sitting on the bed, he’ll give her that, but the coughs that wrack her body at fairly regular intervals give away the fact that she isn’t actually 100 %. He briefly glances down at the bowl of soup in his hand, the soup she sent him away for, sighs briefly, and then clears his throat.

“I got your soup,” he says holding up the bowl in question. “Monty says that’s half of your bonus rations for the month.”

“Sit it on the nightstand,” she says briefly waving her hand in its general direction. “I’ll get to it in a minute.”

“Can you get me the welding torch,” she asks a few moments later.

He still doesn’t think it’s a good idea for her to exert herself like this but he knows better than to stand in her way when she has her mind on something, especially when that something is some kind of engineering project. He briskly makes his way over to the closet and pulls out the requested piece of equipment. He moves to hand it to her but she waves him off.

“We need to move this to the floor first,” she says. “Unless you want your bed to go up in flames.”

“I’d rather avoid that if you don’t mind Reyes,” he says already moving to lift the mysterious object.

“If I’m going to be roped into helping with this project anyways you might as well tell me what it is,” he asks moments later.

“A better water filtration system,” she says moving to the edge of bed before using his shoulder to lower herself down to ground level. “What we have isn’t bad but if I get this right it’ll improve quality by 20 %.”

“That runoff dripping off the pipes taste has gotten old,” he says smirking.

“That’s still where it’s coming from so don’t get your hopes up,” she says. “This is just for quality of filtration after it’s collected.”

“We’ve been here for months,” he says. “What brought this on now?”

“Months ago I didn’t know about what kind of resources we would have up here,” she says. “And my mind always works best when I’m sick.”

“That makes no sense,” he says.

“It doesn’t have to,” she says. “Now hand me my mask and goggles.”

He grabs them off of a nearby workbench and quickly hands them over. She dons them in a few practiced motions, grabs the welding torch from where he laid it on the bed, and motions him to take a few steps back. The room is quickly alight with the glow of metal bending to the desires of man. He’s still not sure if this whole thing is entirely necessary, especially while Raven is sick, but he can’t complain about getting to watch her work. Once she really dives into it it’s almost like she completely forgets he’s there. He’s never been too good at much in his life outside of lying, stealing, and generally being an asshole but what’s before him now is no doubt what it’s like to see a true master of their craft in action. Her movements are so fluid it’s like watching a dance and his breathing quickens with hints of arousal as she moves from one tool to another in an effortless display of purpose.

Before he knows it she’s clearing her throat and he has no idea how long it’s been since he was aware of anything other than her hands.

“I should let you watch me work more often,” she says smirking.

“Yeah,” he responds still moderately breathless.

“Another time,” she says moving to lay her mask and goggles back on the workbench. “For now we need to get this down to Hydration so that I can install it tomorrow.

“I got it,” he says already moving to pick it up. “You eat your soup.”

Initially it looks like she going to protest but she eventually says, “Don’t drop it.”

“When have I ever let you down Reyes,” he says smirking.

The look she gives him as she settles back onto the bed is not an amused one.

His walk through the corridors of their little ring floating through space is mostly quiet. Monty’s still in the mess hall where he left him and since his previous trip there Bellamy has joined him. He finds Echo and Harper in the training room where Harper’s punching away at a punching bag while Echo watches. He doesn’t see Emori anywhere but that’s probably for the best, things between them had soured even before he and Raven started sharing a room. He finds the room aptly labeled Hydration and moves to sit Raven’s new filtration system down next to the old one. After that’s done he begins making his way unceremoniously back to their room. The sight that greets him this time is something much less surprising. Raven’s lounging against a pair a pillows quickly working her way through the soup he still wasn’t sure about the contents of.

“How is it,” he says.

“Cold,” she says moving another spoonful to her mouth anyways.

“You’re the one that wanted to wait,” he says smirking.

“I can make you some tea to warm you up,” he says after a few moments.

“That’ll be your bonus rations though,” she says.

“I don’t need them,” he says moving out the door without another word.

He finds his way into the mess hall easily enough and quickly makes his way over to where Monty and Bellamy are gathered.

“I need teabags,” he says without any preamble.

“Raven’s rations won’t cover that,” Monty says quickly glancing at the clipboard in his hand. “You’re using yours.”

“Yes,” he says uninterested in the dance of the transaction already.

“Okay,” Monty says. “Second cabinet to the left, top shelf.”

“You can have four,” he continues.

“How is she,” Bellamy asks.

“Fine,” he says grabbing his allocated tea bags. “Thought up a whole new water filtration system in the thirty minutes I was gone earlier.”

“How long until it’s practical,” Bellamy asks with clear interest.

“Tomorrow maybe,” he says shrugging. “Unless she takes a turn for the worse.”

“She says her brain works better when she’s sick,” he adds at Bellamy’s surprised look. “I don’t know.”

“We’re lucky to have her,” Bellamy says as Murphy starts boiling water for the tea.

“Yeah we are,” he says meaning it more than perhaps anything else in his life.

It doesn’t take too long before he has a batch of tea made and he quickly grabs a pitcher and a pair of glasses before bidding Monty and Bellamy goodbye. The sight that greets him as he walks through their door this time is that of Raven laying in bed, struggling to keep her eyes open.

“I have your tea if you want it,” he says holding up the pitcher.

“Of course I want it,” she says perking up.

He pours a glass for each of them before getting into bed next to her.

“Here,” he says handing a glass over to her.

“Mmmm,” is all that escapes her mouth after taking a sip.

“Bellamy’s impressed with your spark of genius,” he says taking his own sip.

“Not as impressed as you were I’m sure,” she says smirking.

“Hopefully not,” he says slightly more genuine than intended.

“Come on,” she says nudging him in the shoulder. “Me and Bellamy were nothing, a one time thing that feels like a lifetime ago now.”

“Yeah,” he says sighing.

“He won’t even take Echo up on all of her flirting,” she says. “Why would he go through the trouble of trying to steal me from you when he’s still in love with Clarke?”

“Clarke’s probably dead,” he says. “And we have years to go stuck up here yet.”

“I’m not tired of you yet,” she says nudging his shoulder again. “And even if I was Bellamy wouldn’t be my first choice for a rebound, we’ve got too much of a good thing going to mess it up.”

“Who then,” he says. “Who’s your first choice?”

“You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine,” he adds at her unsure look.

“Echo,” she breathes out.

Without a thought he moves to kiss her on the temple.

“Echo’d be my choice too,” he says.

“I won’t tell her if you won’t,” she says smirking.

“Of course not,” he says. “She’d probably kill us in our sleep.”

“She could do that now,” she says.

“Yeah,” he says. “But there’s no reason to give her a reason to.”

“She could take us both up on it,” she says.

“I think I’d rather keep you to myself Reyes,” he says.

They settle into a comfortable silence of tea and breathing, only briefly interrupted by the occasional cough. Before he knows it Raven is asleep with her head on his shoulder. She was a ball of energy when she had a project to focus on, was better at 50 % than most people were at 100 %, but she was only human in the end. He grabs the glass out of her hand and sits it with his on the nightstand. He presses another kiss against her forehead, this one much more tender than the previous one.

“Goodnight,” he whispers. “Raven.”

He lays his head against hers, closes his eyes, and revels in the sound and smell of her until he himself falls asleep.


	13. Imminent Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly not sure what this is. This is the first thing outside of schoolwork that I've written in two months. I'm a college graduate now so I guess that makes up for it. Anyways this season has been great so far. I'm loving Diyoza and the Eligius people as the new "villains" and I'm loving the changes they've made to most of the characters after this time jump. I'm still not a fan of time jumps as a plot device in general but at least they've made this one interesting. I said it during the season finale of last season and I'll say it again, this is the season where the 100 goes back to its roots. I still think season 2 is probably the best overall storyline we've ever had on this show, but I've missed the sense of wonderment and mystery that season 1 had and this season is giving it to us. There's been so much Bellarke and Murven so far and Madi and Zeke are great new characters. Still not sure how I feel about Zeke getting in the way of the Murven I've wanted since season 2 but hopefully the writers use him for more than just that. Anyways since it seems like I'm going to like Zeke and I'm still going to like Echo I sat around thinking after the premiere and started shipping them in my head. Honestly I'm so used to shipping noncanon that shipping two people who haven't even met yet doesn't seem like that much of a leap. I'm not sure how possible Zecho actually is in canon but It'd keep them out of the way of Bellarke and Murven at any rate. I think Zeke is one of those characters that you can ship with anyone and it makes sense in all honesty. This chapter isn't really about them but they're in it so I figured I'd give you fair warning. Like I said I might be a bit rusty so I'm not sure how this turned out, but this examination of what Echo, or at least Echo how I see her, would think of some of the events that have happened so far is what came to me. I was listening to Heretic Pride by The Mountain Goats while writing this.

Things won’t change on the ground. That’s what Bellamy told her before they boarded the Eligius ship. She wasn’t naive enough to believe a promise like that in the general sense. Speaking in absolutes about the tactical situation, especially when you didn’t have direct observation of the tactical situation in the first place, was a recipe for walking yourself into a quick death. Eligius had been an unknown variable and she wasn’t about to write them off as a solved puzzle before they even had firsthand contact. The truth was that even the bunker wasn’t a completely known variable at that point though she had been reluctant to say as much to Bellamy. They more or less boarded the Eligius ship blind and the part of her that was used to slow, calculated surveillance up to and including going undercover before committing to an action felt on edge as a result.

She had held her tongue. It was Bellamy’s show, she was the unwelcome tagalong that he had for some reason taken an interest in saving, and she wasn’t interested in antagonizing him or anyone else into remembering that while they were still in space. At the end of the day, the properties of space itself hadn’t made the kind of surveillance she was used to carrying out possible without boarding the other ship anyways. Cryostasis was a surprise that she couldn’t have possibly seen coming. She still didn’t understand most of the mechanics behind how something like that could even be possible, but she understood enough at that point to know that what they were dealing with in Eligius wasn’t simply another group of survivors looking for a place to live. The people they were dealing with were dangerous prisoners with access to technology even more advanced than what Skaikru came to the ground with in the first place. It was a dangerous combination and if Kodiak had been any indication they weren’t going to go down without a fight.

The plan to cut off access to the cryo controls from the ground and instead use the sleepers as leverage in any potential negotiations had seemed like a good idea when she first suggested it. Raven was brilliant and she had had no doubt that she could meet any challenge presented to her. Leaving Raven and Murphy behind was more of a sacrifice than she had been planning on making, but Bellamy assured them all that they had a way out if it all went to hell. The landing was bumpy but successful and neither that nor first contact with the enemy resulted in their deaths so she felt confident about their situation. They still had cards to play in case Eligius was more than they appeared to be and they were damned good cards too. Finding out that Clarke was still alive and was in fact the person that Eligius had captured threw all of her previous calculations off kilter. Despite what Bellamy said and despite what she wanted to believe if Clarke was still alive then that meant everything had the potential to change.

She wasn’t blind. She knew that Bellamy had been in love with Clarke when they left her to die during Praimfaya. He may not have been ready to admit it to anyone, least of all himself, but it was pretty obvious especially to someone like her. He had been in love with her then and it had taken him four years to even consider moving on. Bellamy was a good person and what they had was serious enough that she knew he would never intentionally try to mess it up. If she had learned anything about anything from being banished though it was that people's intentions didn’t always line up with what reality demanded. Those feelings he had for Clarke hadn’t gone away, they’d simply been buried in that way that people always do in order to move on from grief. Clarke’s survival also meant that the leadership dynamic that they had built up over six years in space wasn’t going to survive on the ground. Clarke was a born leader and she and Bellamy worked well together for obvious reasons. Concentrated leadership was better for a war environment in most cases, but it had been six years.

Octavia hadn’t been what she expected either. Bellamy had also told her not to worry about that, but she wasn’t naive on that front either. She had tried to kill Octavia twice, coming within an inch of success, and she had betrayed her people many more times than that. Octavia hadn’t struck her as a very forgiving person even before they left the ground and what she was after Praimfaya was something far beyond that. Fear was a weakness that one couldn’t afford when they were miles behind enemy lines trying to find out their deepest, darkest secrets, but respect for a potential enemy’s ruthlessness was an almost necessary quality. The look in Octavia’s eyes generally was much colder after Praimfaya than it had been at even her lowest moments before Praimfaya. The look in Octavia’s eyes when they caught hers was something else entirely. She was left with no doubt that Octavia wanted her dead, very little doubt that she wanted her to suffer beforehand, and even less doubt that there were countless others all around her who wouldn’t mind watching or participating.

It made sense for her to break things off with Bellamy. His feelings for Clarke were returning in full force the more time they spent around each other and there was no reason for her to get even further on Octavia’s bad side. She had wanted to deflect attention off of her while there was still something bigger to distract everyone. She had wanted to fade into the background where she could be easily forgotten. She had been confident that she could use the skills she’d acquired over the years to do just that. It proved impossible for her to disappear completely however. She was too ingrained with the rest of Spacekru at that point for them to forget her with the donning of a simple disguise like what she had used on operations where she knew the people she was conducting surveillance on. Bellamy continued coming by to check on her every so often. Bellamy and Clarke still asked her for her tactical input in certain situations. Once Raven was back on the ground she even picked up where they had left off in their sparring sessions. And then there was Zeke.

She hadn’t been sure what to make of him upon their first meeting. Diyoza and the rest of Eligius simply referred to him as Lieutenant Shaw. She wasn’t an expert in old Earth military ranks but he didn’t seem like someone who was ready for the frontlines in a war. And then he defected to their side and got with Raven. He was like her in a lot of ways; technical minded, adaptable, and a total bleeding heart for anyone and everyone. She had thought that they were well suited for each other if a bit too similar in some respects. The relationship fizzled out on good terms and Raven began something a lot more passionate and interesting with Murphy. She still wasn’t sure whether that was going to end in ecstasy or pain, but whatever the case, it was going to be loud. Even while with Raven though she saw from time to time that he regretted in some way leaving his people for their side. His longing glances into the dark forest all around them reminded her a little too much of Bellamy staring out of the window at a burning Earth.

“Here,” she said handing him a cup of Monty’s latest alcoholic creation and joining him by the small fire at the center of camp on a night where simply watching wasn’t enough anymore. “You look like you need it.”

“It’s Echo isn’t it,” he said sounding desperately like he wanted to get it right. “I’ve seen you at some of the tactical briefings.”

“We haven’t talked much,” she said sipping her own concoction. “Yes it is Echo.”

“That’s an interesting name,” he said sipping his nervously. “Never met someone named Echo before.”

“Not that there’s a problem with it of course,” he quickly added.

“I was selected for training as a spy before I was even born,” she said calmly. “My parents thought it reflected my future role in the clan well.”

“An echo is there one minute and gone the next,” she explained. “Though spies are hardly ever in one place for only a minute so clearly they weren’t as clever as they thought they were.”

“A spy,” he pondered. “I could never do that kind of work; flight controls are a lot easier to understand than people.”

“It is certainly a thankless task,” she admitted. “And what about you Zeke?”

“How does someone like you end up on a ship full of murderers,” she continued. “Or should I be asking Miles?”

He cleared his throat nervously, “You already know my name too then.”

“I know a lot of things about a lot of people,” she said.

“Right, spy,” he said taking a big swig of his drink. “Well first off not all of them are just murderers, but I suppose that doesn’t make much of a difference now.”

“As far as I’m concerned let’s just say I pissed off the wrong people and they decided that just killing me was too easy,” he continued. “I guess not much has changed on that front.

“Part of you wants to go back to them,” she said. “I see it in your eyes.”

“Well yeah,” he admitted. “Not all of them are bad people and when I had nowhere else to go they gave me a home.”

“But this war is wrong and I’m on whatever side is looking to end it with the fewest casualties,” he continued. “Maybe to someone like you that makes me a liability, but I can’t abide by needless slaughter no matter who the guilty party is.”

“Bellamy and Clarke once slaughtered an entire people to save theirs,” she said calmly sipping her drink. “Kane and Indra sentenced hundreds of their people to nuclear fire in order to save the few lucky enough to make the cut.”

“Octavia sentenced people in the bunker to death in a fighting pit for even the most minor offences,” she continued. “I’m not one to judge, but you probably shouldn’t be so quick to assume that this is the side of the righteous.”

“I, yes,” he said stumbling over his words. “Raven told me about some of that.”

“Did she now,” she said. “She must trust you a great deal.”

“She does,” he said sighing. “You don’t though.”

“Well I hardly trust anyone,” she said. “Don’t take it personally.”

“But if you already knew all of that and still sided with us over your own people then I’m inclined to believe your intentions are genuine,” she continued. “I’m not sure it’s something I could have done.”

“A piece of advice though,” she said downing the last of her tonic and getting up. “Wanting to go back to where you’re familiar is perfectly normal.”

“I had the same desire when I was first banished from my clan,” she continued. “But you’ll soon realize that if they didn’t care enough about you to support you when it really mattered then you’re better off without them.”

“Have a good evening Mr. Shaw,” she finished before turning and heading for her tent.

How much can you learn from someone in just one conversation? Depending on how good you are at reading people and how good the person you’re reading is at masking themselves you can learn a great deal. The right word or phrase at the right time can end wars or destroy reputations. She still hadn’t known entirely what to make of Miles Ezekiel Shaw after that initial conversation. He was a good person, perhaps even too good for the world they found themselves in. He was also the kind of idealist that the Queen had sent her to observe and then kill on numerous occasions. People who wanted too much change too fast and were too vocal about it were easy enemies for someone looking to maintain an iron grip on power. There were other conversations that followed and somewhere along the way they began to feel less and less like an interrogation and more like friendly conversation bordering on flirting. Just one more change that Bellamy couldn’t have possibly seen coming.

Things always change. Nothing lasts forever. The people of the old Earth built a civilization that lasted for thousands of years and it was wiped out in a single moment. Her civilization had existed for hundreds in the aftermath and it too was wiped out in much the same way. Lives, deaths, loves, wars, families, clans, civilizations; they all come and go in unpredictable cycles that have existed for much longer than time itself. Change is an inevitable, unavoidable facet of being alive. Bellamy told her that nothing would change when they got to the ground. She had never been naive enough to fully believe him. Changes had been set in motion long before the ground was even survivable again. Now though, as she wakes up still breathing, no threat of a knife against her throat, Shaw at her side, also still breathing and looking at her as if she isn’t a complete monster, but rather something beautiful, she knows that not all change is bad. Her life has certainly changed for the better.


	14. Captain Kane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my computer’s still not working and I wasn’t expecting to write something until I either got it fixed or got a new one. This disappointment of a season hasn't given me much to work with anyways. This season is a perfect example of why I hate time jumps. The writers can pretty much turn the characters into anything and then say that whatever development needed for that happened off screen. It’s really just an excuse for lazy writing. I think I've hated every character except Murphy at least once this season. Anyways after last episode for some reason I really got myself hooked on Kane/Diyoza and I haven't looked back. This is the result though it doesn’t have much to do with them. This is a follow up to Chapter 7 of this fic. I typed this on my phone so if anything seems out of the ordinary just bear with me. I was listening to Forget The Lies by Quietdrive while writing this. I hope you like it.

A stack of files blocked police captain Marcus Kane’s view of his office door.

“Tell me about it,” a familiar voice drew his gaze up.

“What,” he said with a sigh already having a good guess what this was about.

His adoptive daughter gave him an eye roll before saying, “ Your date, how did it go, spill.”

“Octavia,” he said trying to keep his voice down. “This is hardly the time or place to discuss my love life.”

“Come on,” she said sounding just like she had as a teenager asking him to let her go to some party. “You look so absolutely bored in here and I don't have anything better to do until Niylah gets off break.”

“You could review your case files,” he suggested.

“Why would I need to do that when my partner’s a real life Sherlock Holmes,” she said.

“You do know she's not supposed to do all of your work for you right,” he said.

“And she doesn’t,” she said. “Stop trying to change the subject.”

“It was fine,” he said. “She was nice.”

“Fine, nice,” she said smirking. “Someone didn't get any.”

“Of course not,” he said. “It was only the first date.”

“I've fucked a lot of people on the first date,” she said. “I still haven't had a “date" with Niylah yet and we’ve been there done that plenty of times.”

“Why would you even say that to me,” he said shaking his head. “What you do on your own time is up to you but please don't tell me about it especially when there’s a potential conflict of interest.”

“You’re just mad that I'm getting it more than you,” she said.

“Yeah that's it,” he said. “Just go do your job please.”

“Right away Cap,” she said giving a mock salute before turning and laughing her way back into the precinct.

“Ugh,” he said putting head in his hands.

Octavia meant no harm. The sarcasm and barely disguised innuendos were her defense mechanisms when it came to talking about things she actually cared about. It just meant that she was worried about him which he supposed wasn't completely unfounded. Six months felt like it should be enough time for him to have moved on from Abby but he still wasn't completely comfortable putting himself out there again. He wanted to though, she had already moved on and him sitting around wallowing in the what could have beens of their relationship wasn't helping anyone. The date had been good, nothing Earth-shattering, but a nice dinner where he and Charmaine had been able to just sit and get lost in conversation.

Charmaine Diyoza was a teacher at a local preschool. She was slightly younger than him, had joined the military straight out of high school, and while she wouldn't tell him exactly what she did there he expected that she had seen more crazy shit overseas than he had in his twenty years on the force. She loved kids though so when she was done with the military life she worked towards getting a teaching degree which she actually managed to complete a year early. She had a two year old daughter of her own and from what she told him he understood that the reason for the father’s absence wasn't anything untoward. His job kept him on the road a great deal and the baby hadn't been enough to make the long distance relationship work. He still saw the child as much as he could but the relationship never managed to rekindle.

He wasn't going to pry when the situation surrounding his own family life was strange in its own right. Bellamy and Octavia were as much his children as any two people were ever going to get, but the situation around how they became his was far from traditional. He had been just a young officer back then when the report of a murder suicide in a known drug location came across the radio. Aurora Blake and her boyfriend of the time, neither of the children’s father, were found in pools of blood across from each other in the living room of a dilapidated house. It was clear at the scene that the man had killed Ms. Blake and then turned the gun on himself but not many other details readily presented themselves. It wasn't his problem anyways, he was a beat cop not a homicide detective, so he had let the professionals get to work.

The details of the case found their way to him later. An argument that could be heard up and down the block had transpired. From what he understood it hadn't been over one specific thing but drugs were certainly involved. Regardless for whatever reason after shooting Ms. Blake in a rage the man turned the gun on himself and that was that. It was about as open and shut as you could get except for the two young children left behind. Bellamy had been seven at the time and was obviously more used to looking after his two year old sister than any child that young ever should be. He had been single and living alone at the time, not in the best place to take on the responsibility of one child let alone two, but something about the case wouldn't leave him alone and before a week went by he had made up his mind that they had to be his. If it hadn't been for Indra taking on babysitting duties he may never have gotten through those first few years sane but he wouldn't trade it for the world.

The ringing of the phone on his desk took the smile right off his face.

“Captain Kane speaking,” he gave his usual greeting.

“Kane,” the voice of Chief Byrne put him on edge. “Did you read over the notes of the McGhee case yet?”

“Um yes,” he cleared his throat. “I already briefed detectives Murphy and Howe about the potential for media scrutiny.”

“It’s not a potential Kane,” she sneered. “It’s a certainty.”

“They want to catch us with our pants down here so make sure your detectives are ready to be perfect,” she continued. “Brief them again.”

“Of course sir,” he said.

“If they fail and this turns into an inquisition it’s going to reflect badly on you too,” she said. “Remember that.”

With that she hung up the phone and he was left to call in his two detectives for another meeting.

“Howe and Murphy,” he said in his best captain voice out the door. “When you have a moment come and see me in my office.”

The two faces in front of him wore none of the hints of nervousness one would expect someone to have when getting called to their boss’s office. Luna wore a neutral look that presented the uncaring attitude she handled most situations with and Murphy much like Octavia was just one second away from dropping a sarcastic quip.

“You know why I called you in here,” he said.

“Promotions,” Murphy said. “A raise for all our hard work.”

“It’s about the McGhee case,” he said ignoring him. “Byrne wanted me to make it clear to you that there can be no mistakes in this investigation or the media will be all over our asses like flies on garbage.”

“We’re not stupid,” Luna said. “Well I'm not.”

“Hey,” Murphy said putting a hand to his chest. “We’re supposed to be getting along now.”

“Listen,” he said cutting them off before they could get started. “You two are some of the best detectives I have but if something goes wrong here Byrne is going to hold all our asses to the fire so please just be careful.”

“What's so important about this guy anyways,” Murphy asked.

“He was a friend of the former mayor’s,” Luna said before he could answer. “Ran his reelection campaign.”

“He was a douchebag,” she continued.

“Be that as it may,” Kane tried to reign the conversation in again. “If we don't solve his murder fast it might reflect badly on the former mayor which may bring scrutiny to the current mayor and the police force.”

“They're already after me on impartiality just because Bellamy is my son,” he said. “Let's not give them more to attack him or us with.”

“We’ll be careful,” Luna said.

“Scout’s honor,” Murphy added.

“Good enough for me,” he said. “Get back to your jobs.”

They turned and walked out with Luna’s, “You were never a scout,” echoing into the precinct.

The stack of files on his desk hadn't gotten much smaller since his day began but at least he had managed to put out a few fires. He glanced at the clock. There were still five more hours left in his shift and he had no doubt that it would be a long five hours but he couldn't help but smile. Even when things in his personal life weren't exactly put together the family he had built at the precinct always kept him grounded. Besides he had another date with Charmaine to look forward to when all the craziness of the work day was finally over.


	15. 125 Years On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Here we are again at the end of another The 100 season. A season that started out with such great promise, had five excellent episodes, and then proceeded to descend into a circle jerk for Jason and his writing team. They got so caught up in their own “There are no good guys" narrative that they forgot which characters they were writing and what morally grey characters actually are. Morally grey does not mean morally irredeemable. Jason and his writers tried to make everyone unlikable to the point where no one was unlikable and it just ended up falling so flat. And in the end it didn't even matter because the characters all essentially reverted back to their season 4 selves for the final two episodes which also ended up being pretty great. So what was the point of this season? I'm honestly not sure because none of the moral dilemmas the writers tried to raise ever got anything more than token consideration and the war they built up never actually happened. This season could have been about our main characters coming back together after six years. It could have also been about a war between two likable sides. It was neither of those things. So do I have hope for next season? Yes because it seems the genre wheel for this show has finally swung back to science fiction. The fact that The Flame still exists gives me pause though. Anyways here’s my post finale fic. I was listening to Living Louder by The Cab while writing this. I hope you like it.

125 Years. They've been in cryo for 125 years. Monty and Harper built an entire life together and had a son who stands before him older than Madi. Monty and Harper grew old and died and he feels no different than when he first laid down in that pod all those years ago. If Bellamy didn't know any better he'd say no time had passed at all but the young adult in front of him and the videos showing his friends withering away prove otherwise. Earth, the origin point of humanity, the place that Carl Sagan once said was where humanity makes its stand, has been left far behind and a new world of unknowns stands in front of them. Looking out the window it certainly paints a beautiful picture and with Clarke by his side he feels like they just might be able to pull this off. Do they deserve it though; he’s not quite sure.

Despite his best efforts his mind is choosing this moment to think about everyone who didn't make it to this point with them. People like Roma and Sterling and Fox and Atom and Monroe who he considered his people on the ground, people he could trust, people he was responsible for. They trusted him too and at one point or another he had let them all down. They were dead because they trusted him and he was never going to allow himself to forget that. People like Finn and Wells were there at the beginning too. They weren't his people in the same way but they were Clarke’s people and they were he and Clarke’s people and they deserved to be here as much as he did. Finn got executed for losing it and killing a few Grounder civilians and Wells died just trying to help a frightened young girl. He’s certainly done more to deserve an early death than either of them.

Charlotte. Thinking about Wells always makes him think of Charlotte. Sometimes when he looks at Madi an image of Charlotte flashes through his mind and he makes himself promise that he won't fail another young girl looking to him for guidance. If he had just been more pragmatic in his advice about slaying her demons she might still be here. There could be one more piece to the family he finds himself a part of. Instead she’s just another person on the long list of those who trusted him who he failed. One murder and she was sentenced to death by Murphy and his cronies out for revenge. One murder is minuscule compared to the blood that stains his hands. 

In truth there are hardly any of the original 100 left. It’s kind of hard to believe that at one point he was the unwelcome tagalong bumping the actual number up to 101, it feels like a different life. Some of them didn't even manage to survive entering Earth’s atmosphere and it’s been a constant trickle of death ever since. Jasper, Monty, and Harper are just the most recent hits to that original number. And that was saying nothing of the Grounders, Mountain Men, and Arkadians killed too. People like Gina and Maya and Roan. Even Eligius hadn't escaped the final battle before Earth’s destruction fully intact. McCreary and his ilk were the final casualties in the Earth theater of humanity’s war with itself. He very much doubts that 125 years in cryo will put an end to the war at large though especially if what remains of Eligius 3 is already settled on their new home.

And that in of itself probably answers his earlier question as much as anything ever could. A history ripe with war after war, a home planet destroyed three times over, all the death they’ve seen personally, and a narrow escape of total extinction for the human species doesn’t rule out the possibility for more war on this new world. If that’s the case they probably don’t deserve this fifth chance at getting it right because they aren't going to. He doesn’t deserve to be one of the people left alive to restart the human species. He doesn’t deserve a sister who forgives him when he can't forgive her. He doesn't deserve Clarke and Madi. He doesn't deserve to still have anyone’s trust. He deserves worse than what everyone who didn’t make it here with them got. And yet both he and the human species are still here anyways. He's not sure what to make of that.

“Hey,” Clarke’s looking at him now with a knowing look.

“Hey,” he says back

“You did good Bellamy,” she says seemingly reading his mind. “You did good.”

She said that to him once before when they were leaving another home and he was having doubts about everything.

“You too,” he manages to say this time.

The ensuing pause goes on so long that he thinks the conversation is over but he’s content holding her in his arms and staring out at their new home.

“I forgive you,” she says suddenly. “For Madi, for everything.”

“You're forgiven,” she says more forcefully.

“I don't deserve your forgiveness,” he says.

“Love isn't about what you deserve,” she says.

“You're forgiven too then,” he says.

“You radioed me every day,” he says after a moment.

“It was the only thing that kept me sane,” she says.

“I talked to you every day too,” he says. “Every day I stood at a window looking at the Earth and I imagined you were there next to me.”

“I’m here now,” she says.

“Yeah you are,” he says. “Yeah you are.”

He looks at her then, really looks at her for what feels like the first time in forever. Illuminated by the glow of this solar system’s twin stars she’s as beautiful as he’s ever seen her. After six years of separation and 125 years of cryostasis it feels like they've wasted enough time. He hasn't kissed anyone since Gina. Echo was certainly interested in him during their time in space but it never got any further than flirting. Regardless he thinks his first kiss with Clarke would have always felt like something special. They've been rivals, co-leaders, friends, and this feels like a culmination of it all. Lips meet lips, tongue meets tongue, and he’d be lying if he said he doesn't forget where he is for several moments.

“Wow, okay,” Jordan’s voice breaking through the haze makes him feel like a teenager getting caught by his mom again. “Mom and dad warned me about this.”

“What is it,” he finally says.

“Right, yeah, just didn't expect it this soon,” Jordan stammers. “I was going to ask you for a list of essential people to wake up.”

“Essential people,” Clarke questions.

“You know, engineers, doctors, leadership, that sort of thing,” Jordan says. “We don’t want to wake them all up before we have a place for them to go but we need the people capable of getting us to that point up and at it as soon as possible.”

“And you want us to decide,” he questions.

“Well I could always consult the personnel files mom and dad left me but they made it clear you’d know,” Jordan says

“We’ll handle it,” Clarke says giving him a smile.

“Great,” Jordan says. “Excellent.”

With that Jordan bounds back towards the main cryo area and they are once again left alone.

“Another list,” he says.

“Hey,” she says turning her smile on him. “We’re getting them all down there.”

He nods silently hoping to whatever god will listen that she’s right. He’s not sure if he can handle more broken trust on his conscience and blood on his hands. Humanity may not have done Carl Sagan’s pale blue dot much justice but they’re still here and they’re still alive. Maybe this time, against the odds, they’ll finally get it right. Clarke still gives him hope and for now hope has to be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a side note if you haven't listened to Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot speech I'd highly recommend you do. It’s one of the most inspiring things I've ever heard.


End file.
